Trains & Tribulations Part 3

Today I sit on the train berthed at platform 15 at Edinburgh Waverley waiting for it to depart to Dundee. Being one of the few sunny days so far this summer the train is already stuffy. Being the shortest train of the day to Dundee, in so much as it doesn’t stop at all stations in Fife, it is crammed packed with commuters. In true train style the air conditioning has also chosen today to give up. What was a hot train when empty, has now advanced to boiler room conditions.

Anyhow, enough of the moaning.

It was a journey back from London after a game of football. We had rushed to the station after a quick shower and change at the pitch, a tube or 2 later and we arrived at Kings Cross. Two things were on our mind, food for the train and drink! The first drawback was there were limited places that we could reach within a limited time that sold alcohol. Therefore a queue of us formed in Marks & Spencer with the majority of us opting for some imported European lager. Having been cut off from the rest of the group I headed towards the platform only to be greeted by several of the Mets finest constabulary officers.

Due to a game being held between Newcastle and Tottenham in London earlier that day this train had been confined to being a `dry train`. No alcohol allowed to be consumed nor taken on board! Despite a plea that I had just finished a big game of football (victoriously) and was gasping for a cool beer there was no bending of rules. I was asked, as had others, to place all my cans down by an industrial sized refuse bin where officers would dispose of it later.

Resigned to my fate, or that of my lager, I started to place them down by the bin. Just as I had placed the final one down, one of the officers in the smaller group beside me stepped over to where I was standing and said, “You can always drink them before you go on the train, you still have twenty minutes”.

Not entirely sure how train security could be greater when full of people previously having been encouraged to drink as much as they could in a short space of time before boarding the train, I picked up the first can and pulled it open.

Having not had a chance to rehydrate since the game, the first can went down incredibly well. Not sure how much I should push it I bent down to pick up a second can. Unsure of the reaction of the officers to this I glanced over to both groups. An officer from the second group, on the other side of the platform gate, took notice and alerted his fellow officers; “He’s going for another!”. Then directing his attention towards me followed it up with, “Go on my son!!!” and accompanied it with several macho hand gestures.

After sinking what I could of the second can I alerted some team mates to the non drinking rule in place and they were able to hide what they could within their kit bags and sneak them aboard. Just as I was about to abandon the rest of my cans and join my friends on the train I decided one last plea to the officers for mercy could do no harm. An older experienced officer was nearest at this stage and sensing good will he shuffled over. “Put the others in your bag and on you go, just don’t let these other guys see you do it”, motioning towards the other officers. A simple play that is no doubt repeated several times over to gain trust and mutual understanding it was nevertheless greatly appreciated. I did as was told and was soon aboard.

Now the officers were from the North of England. Knowing that they would depart the train in Newcastle gave a natural time for the post match party to begin. Not having the patience to wait til then a few players gave in and in an act reminiscent of teenage years they hurriedly poured lager into their empty McDonalds milkshake cartons and tried on their best innocent faces.